I just need to get this off my chest or I'm going to explode very soon: Lately I have been involved in WAY too many one-sided conversations and it's really getting to me. When getting to know people, the best way to gather information and find out more about a person is to ask questions. This initiates conversation, helps you learn about the person, makes them feel valued and listened to, etc. Plus, I just am very curious and if I am going to get to know someone, I want to know all about them - what makes them 'tick'. I have realized in the last few years that you don't learn anything by talking - you learn by LISTENING and ASKING QUESTIONS - about different topics, other people, why people do the things they do or feel the way they do. I just think you can never learn too much. Life is too short to make all of the mistakes that are possible in this world - LISTEN and LEARN from others and you can avoid pitfalls, find out how to be kinder and more compassionate to others, learn about places you've never been, get tips on how to be a better person, cool places to shop, fun things to do, etc. The learning possibilities are ENDLESS when you just shut your mouth and LISTEN and give someone ELSE a chance to talk. 
With this said, I have had the displeasure to be on the receiving end of several people "verbally puking" on me lately and I need to vent. I ask a lot of questions so that I can learn....however, aparently there's a sign on my forehead that says "Please, please keep talking for hours. Please tell me everything YOU know and everything YOU have experienced. And pretty please - talk to me like I'm a child that hasn't been ANYWHERE or done ANYTHING in my life and I wouldn't know ANYTHING about the knowledge you are graciously bestowing on me." It makes me just want to not ask any more questions when you have people that abuse conversations.
The polite thing to do is this: in a conversation of two people, one person asks a question or two and the other person answers. Now, here's where it gets tricky! At the point when person #2 finishes answering the 1-2 questions, they shouldn't keep talking on and on and on, they shouldn't just walk away because they have better things to do, and they really shouldn't act like they are doing you a favor by lending you their cache of interesting commentary. They SHOULD act like they care about person #1 and ask a question or two back and then SHUT their mouth and LISTEN.
Sorry if this post sounds harsh or angry, I just needed to vent a little bit.......Does anyone else have this problem???
3 comments:
"Verbal vomit" is terrible. Some people just don't get it.
I went to dinner this week with someone exactly like this, a former co-worker, and she wouldn't stop talking. She was only half done eating by the time I was done, because she was talking so much. I had thought we were going out to dinner to catch up on EACH OTHER's lives.....guess not. Allison
I totally agree with this. I am also a question asker. I try to remember things about people so I can ask in the future about how things are going or so that the conversation doesn't have a lull, but there are plenty of these people that don't ever ask me anything.
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