Personality Doubt

Is it possible for your personality to change over time? I think so. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about who I am and what I am. I think my personality has ALWAYS been one of logical, rational thinking, organization, etc. However, I am also a very emotional person - things affect me deeply, both good and bad. I see the world in a fairly black and white way, even though there are billions of gray areas (which leads to confusion and frustration for me). I see the world with a set of rules and when people ignore the rules or don't follow them, I get discouraged and lose faith in people in general. It is just not fair that some people follow the rules and then ultimately have to pay for the people who don't. And I know, "Life's not fair" - I heard it a million times from my Mom growing up. But it is very hard for me to let things go when I think there is injustice!

Also, I feel like I am becoming more of an introvert as my life progresses. I am alone most of the time (since I live alone and I am somewhat isolated at work) and that has taken its toll on me over the years since my divorce. I don't know if it's a bad thing or just an observation? Also, in the past 5 years I have 'started over' by myself in a new state twice, so you do a lot by yourself (shopping, going out to eat, movies, projects, etc.) during those transitions. I have gotten used to it, but I thought I was just 'enduring' those alone times. Now that I have made friends and am around people more.......it kind of freaks me out sometimes! It's almost like I have a very hard time integrating back into the 'land of the living' around people! WHAT?! I can't figure out if I just prefer to spend a lot of time alone now, or if it's just that I'm so used to it and now I'm trying to change back into being around people more and it's a hard transition??

I have found that now when I'm in crowds or just a large group with church, etc., I feel uncomfortable - like it's too chaotic and I get lost in the crowd and don't feel connected. I tend to seek out one-on-one time with people or small groups where everyone gets a chance to talk and learn about each other. It seem that in big groups, you have a couple people who just kind of take over the talking and 'entertain' the crowd. I find myself very annoyed when I'm around somebody who has this insatiable need to have all the attention - they totally monopolized the conversation and draw attention back to themselves over and over like a 3-year-old showing off. That just sends me up a wall these days. They will drone on and on about their kids or some other topic of their choosing and they don't ever stop and ask about anyone else. I sit there in the group thinking "Am I the only person here that thinks that that's ANNOYING and childish? I gotta get OUT of here!"

I was kind of hoping that I would GAIN more patience as I went through different things in my life, but it just hasn't happened. I hate to admit it, but I think I'm growing more IMpatient over time. I don't like that about myself, but it feels like a steamroller that cannot be stopped! Agh! I know that people change over time and that is affected by their age, lifestyle, life circumstances, friends, etc. I am just worried that if I don't get back into "people" mode, I'll be living with a wiener dog on a remote island pretty soon! It's just weird to me how some people in my life seem not to have really changed over many years' time and I feel like I've been on a roller coaster ride and am very different from the person I was in college (and a lot of that change was for the good - I've learned SO MUCH in my 20's!).

Thoughts on this anyone???