It's All In The Title

The other day, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood - Becky. We lost touch for several years, but I found her brother on Facebook and got her number that way. She used to live a few blocks from my house growing up, but now she lives in Palm Springs, CA and is a kindergarten teacher. She's just as off-the-wall as ever (we were total opposites, so that's why we got along so well, I think!) and I love her for it.

Anyway, during our 2-hour 'reunion' conversation, we were discussing how we are both divorced and what life is like 'after marriage'. Her situation is still pretty new (I don't think it's final yet) and she has a 7-year-old son with her ex, but there are common experiences with just being a divorced woman.

One of those issues is your title when you are divorced. Before you got married, you are technically a "Miss Larsen" (OK, funny sidenote - I grew up as a Larsen, and when she got married, she married into the name Larson!). Once you get married, you are a "Mrs. Rettinger." But once you get divorced, what are you?? You aren't a Mrs. anymore, but you aren't really a Miss (at least you sure don't FEEL like one after all that!). I guess you are forced into being a Ms. Oh yes, the dreaded "Ms." I can just see that snotty, pretentious librarian now - that corrected you when you said either Miss or Mrs. "It's MS. Johnson!" YUCK. Please tell me that I don't have to be that!

Well, the subject came up when we were talking about her school and students - since she's a teacher, she is called by Mrs. Larson, but now that she is divorced, what should she tell the kids to call her?? She wants to keep the Larson name in order to have the same name as her son, which is understandable, but she is no longer Mrs. Larson. What to do? She is kind of a wacky person, so she said she wants to be Mr. Larson! She thinks that it's unfair that men don't have to divulge their personal/marital status or life - they are a "Mr." their whole life. Women have to choose one or graduate to one of those statuses. UGH! I told her to pick another language - be a Mademoiselle or something!

After my divorce, everyone thought I would switch my name back to Larsen, but I didn't. Believe me, it wasn't because I was proud of that family or my ex and wanted to hang on to it! It was more of a logistical thing. I was devastated, overwhelmed and depressed. I had just changed all of my documentation over to his name just a year and a half earlier (drivers license, checks, bank accounts, credit cards, email addresses, passport amendments, social security card, etc. etc. etc.). Also, since I was in Ohio, it wasn't like I would be tied to his family by using that name or anything. In addition, I had just started a new job (email address, business cards, etc.) and everyone in Ohio knew me by his name.....so to switch it and then have people say "Oh! Did you get married???" would've been more than I could take. I would have to try and bite my tongue and not say something really bitter and angry like "NO - I got divorced. That bastard left me!". Anyway, moving on - that's in the past.....

What are your thoughts on this subject?