Shifting Gears

In the past several years since my divorce, I have been praying to God about something - my desire for kids. I would watch friends getting married and subsequently starting families. I would feel the jealousy rise in me when I got the news that another baby was on the way for someone in my life. This was just emotionally heartbreaking......

So I began praying to God NOT for children to come my way, but for His will to be done. If that meant kids in my future, then bring it on! If that didn't mean children in my future, then to please take the desire for them away so that I wouldn't be tortured. In true God fashion in my life, I didn't get an answer to my prayers right away (I think He's trying to teach me patience - something I need a LOT of, desperately).....

Well, recently - in the last year or so - I have had this increasing desire for another dog. I have always felt bad that Maggie didn't have a buddy, someone to pass the time with while I was at work or just not home. I also love Maggie so much that I knew I wanted to share more of that love with another one.

What I didn't consciously realize at the time was that God was answering my prayer - just as He was ramping up my desire for another pup, He was diminishing my desire for children. It's not that I don't want kids at all, but it's as if I'm indifferent to the idea. He 'neutralized' the desire, put it up on a shelf to be revisited at some other point. No doors were shut, but it took away the longing that I felt.

And it became clear that I now had a longing for another mushy, soft, cuddly pup - something I could realistically and reasonably handle, afford and obtain. Perfect!

I just love how God always finds a way to answer prayer. Even though I didn't see it all happening at the time, I do see it now. He found a way for me to engage my maternal instincts, share my love, provide companionship for my Maggie, and feel fulfilled. What a FANTASTIC God!!

I am very grateful for this answered prayer.