Making Room For The New

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my life and where it's going.  This has been sparked by the fact that I now have a definite date that I will be laid off from my job - December 1st.  It's a mentally, emotionally, spiritually and professionally trying time for me, but I know it is also a time of growth, self-inspection, getting back in touch with God (who I have drifted away from in the past few years of prosperity), depression, anxiety, hope - all of that mixed into one big ball of uncertainty!  Whew - makes me tired just typing it.  I am most definitely in a 'valley', so they say.

But I walked past a big plant that I have in my living room the other day and noticed that one of the branches/stalks was super tall and looked funny.  I decided to cut it off so that it matched the others and wasn't so obnoxiously out of control.

Well.......a few days later, I walked past that plant again and noticed that there were signs of growth at the point where I had cut off the branch.  WOW! 

I had done this before without much thought and new branches grew in, but at this particular juncture, I guess I am more analytical and introspective right now.  Anyway, I took it as a symbolic representation of closing one door and having a brand new door to be happy and excited about - new growth, new opportunities, new challenges, something that is fresh and alive awaits!

Through this year, I knew this layoff situation was pretty much inevitable, but now that the date is firm and things are really starting to happen as far as the transition of duties is concerned, I see that professional 'door' closing rapidly.....and that scares me to death.  I have been angry and upset at the door, the door closer, the mere fact that any door has to close at all, the door jamb, etc. - you get the picture.  What I SHOULD be concentrating on is the new growth, the new adventures, new challenges - and those tiny new little 'leaves' that want to grow, but I just refuse to cut off the old branch and let them show their stuff!

I think I need to park myself next to this plant for 10 solid minutes every single day and take in the beauty of these new baby leaves and concentrate on what I'm missing out on by focusing on that big stupid awkward ugly branch that won't get out of my way!