No Going Back

Change is the very nature of life, - welcome it. No glass ever became sand again; No bread ever became wheat; No ripened fruit ever became a flower. Welcome change, and choose what kind of glass you create, what kind of bread you bake, what kind of fruit you harvest.

Wow - this last week or two have been very reflective for me - lots of DEEP thinking. And I have found lots of inspirational and thought provoking quotes lately. GOOD STUFF.

I liked this one because I often find myself reminiscing about the past and wistfully remembering a really great time in my life that has come and gone. I really miss certain phases, but I know that all of the ups and downs of my life have been necessary to bringing me to the place I am now, which I love. I have to take the bad stuff in order to appreciate the good stuff. Go figure.

During my years spent in Ohio, I wasted a LOT of time thinking, pondering and lamenting about the past - what could've been, what should've been, the things that were happening that I didn't ask for or deserve, etc. It was a pity party to end all pity parties for a while there! I knew that I was doing it - I was very conscious of it, and I hated EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of it......but yet I was stuck in it. I couldn't get out of the past and the injustices that had happened.

What a blessing I have found in my 30's! Moving to Texas wasn't just about cowboys, warmer weather and living in a bigger city (although those are some fabulous attributes of living here!) - moving down to Texas was about much more than that. It was a very symbolic shift in my life - both in my physical location, but moreso in my mental/emotional/spiritual state.


I was finally doing something (BIG) that was on MY terms, in MY time and by MY CHOICE. It was not reacting to a parent's death, it was not reeling after a spouse leaves, it was not picking up the pieces from someone else's actions and poor choices. It was something I had always wanted to do and I DID IT! I decided that I didn't need a husband in order to buy a house - and it turned out just fine! I knew that if moving down here was a collosal mistake, that it would be MY mistake and I would live with the consequences. I was totally OK with that - it was just so exhilerating to be doing something monumental in my own life based on my own decisions, PROACTIVELY, not reactively.

So while I enjoy looking back through my photo albums from college, studying abroad in Spain, when I was newly married and on cloud 9, when I could hug Dad in person - all of those wonderful times in my life.....I also can finally say that I am just fine right where I am, right at this moment. I am finally content. I don't need to long for the caterpillar days, for I'm now a butterfly! Ahhh....it feels so good to finally be at peace with my life. It's not perfect, but I'm at peace... God is so good.